Guess What?

Setting: Inside a house, Joanne is washing dishes while her friends, Mina and Jackie, are in the living room watching TV. Joanne is washing dishes in peace when Mina pops up and scares her.

MINA

(Excited)

Guess what! Joanne! Guess, guess, guess, guess,guess,guess!

JOANNE

What?

It’s silent for a moment as Mina stares at Joanne. Joanne awkwardly stares back and waits for Mina to do or say something. While it’s quiet, Jackie appears behind Joanne munching on a a bag of chips.

JACKIE

Whatcha guys having an awkward silence over?

(Eats more chips)

MINA

Go away Jackie!

JACKIE

(Thoughtfully eats a chip)

Nope. I don’t want to.

(Shrugs and keeps eating)

Mina and Jackie stare at each other for a few seconds then they lunge at each other. Joanne is caught in the middle of their fight but then manages to get out of the way. She pushes some buttons on the microwave and it begins to beep. The two girls stop fighting.

MINA

(Confused)

It’s dinner time already?

JOANNE

No, it’s time to stop fighting.

Both girls looks sad for a moment and Mina disappears. Jackie keeps eating her chips.

JACKIE

What was that awkward silence about anyway?

JOANNE

She wanted me to guess something.

JACKIE

She did?!

(Stops eating chips and looks excited)

JOANNE

(Wary)

Yeah . . .

Mina reappear. Jackie and Mina look at each other with excitement and then turn back to Joanne. They begin chanting together and giggling.

JACKIE AND MINA

Guess, guess, guess,guess,guess,guess,guess, guess, guess, guess,guess,guess,guess!!!

JOANNE

What?

Both girls stop chanting and stare at her expectantly. It is quiet for a while and then Mina rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips. Jackie stays frozen.

MINA

No! You actually have to guess.

JOANNE

I do?

(Jackie and Mina nod)

Bubble Gum?

(Shake heads)

Cucumber?

(Shakes heads)

Johny Depp?

(Shakes heads)

Disco?

(Shakes heads)

Yellow?

(Jackie shrugs and Mina does a maybe shake of her hand)

Hufflepuff!

JACKIE

Are you serious?

Jackie bursts out laughing and Mina whacks her in the back of the head. Jackie falls over and rubs her head.

MINA

You don’t even know what it is.

The doorbell rings and the girls stop what they’re doing. Jackie pops up and Mina and her join hands. They smile like the last couple of seconds didn’t happen.

JACKIE AND MINA

(In unison)

Visitor!

Mina and Jackie both exit the kitchen together and Joanne follows close behind. Mina and Jackie get to the door and Jackie thrust it open. A man or woman stands in the doorway. They are wearing a coke-a-cola hat and holding a box.

DELIVERY PERSON

I have a package for—

Joanne slams the door in the delivery person’s face. Cut to confused delivery guy on the porch. He scratches his head. Cut back to girls in the house. Joanne is standing in front of the door. Jackie and Mina look sad.

JOANNE

I haven’t guessed yet!

JACKIE

Guessed?

MINA

Guessed what?

JOANNE

(Angrily)

We were playing a guessing game. Don’t you remember.

Both girls think for a moment and then nod. They huddle together and whisper for a second and then turn back to Joanne.

MINA

We’re ready this time.

(Jackie nods)

Do you want a clu—

JOANNE

No clues! Clues are for the weak. Now let me think. It had to do with yellow . . .

(Jackie nods)

Is is striped?

(Nod heads)

Can it fly?

(Think for a second and nod)

It’s a bee.

(Shakes heads)

What?! What else could it be?!

MINA

Well, you see—

(Jackie pust a hand over Mina’s mouth)

JACKIE

She said she didn’t want any clues!

MINA

(Gasps)

Oh yeah!

(Zips her lips and locks them closed. She give the key to Jackie)

JOANNE

So, it’s yellow, striped and can fly.

(Mutters to herself)

Yellow, striped, fly.

(Taps chin)

Alright. I give up. What is it?

Jackie shakes her head and Mina mumbles through her sealed lips. Cut to Delivery Person outside. He taps his foot and looks around. He sighs. Cut back to girls. Joanne is now pacing the front room and Mina and Jackie have taken seats on the furniture. They watch her pace.

JOANNE

(Mutters to herself)

What could it be? What what what?

(Stops midstride and turns to Jackie and Mina)

If you can’t help me, can someone else?

Mina and Jackie look at each other. They have a pantomime conversation and then Jackie turns to Joanne and nods. She flashes a smirk and then runs to the door. She opens it and the Delivery Person is sitting on the porch with head in his hands. Joanne beckons him to the door. He picks up the package and when he gets to the door Joanne grabs him by the front of his shirt and drags him in the house. She throws him into the front room and closes the door behind him. She locks the door and turns with an evil grin on her face. Jackie and Mina wave.

JOANNE

Now, I have a very important question for you.

DELIVERY PERSON

Look ladies I’m on a tight schedule and I just need to give this package to—

JOANNE

What is yellow striped and can fly?

DELIVERY GUY

What?

JOANNE

Answer the question!

DELIVERY PERSON

I don’t know! Um . . . what about—

JOANNE

(Now standing in front of Mina and Jackie)

He’s useless.

DELIVERY PERSON

Hey!

JOANNE

(Ignores Delivery Person)

If you don’t tell me I won’t make you dinner.

(Fear crosses their faces)

So if yo want me to do anyth—

JACKIE

Okay! Okay! We’ll tell you. Just let me . . .

(Feels around in her pockets)

That’s funny. I swear I put the key in this pocket. Where could it have gone?

JOANNE

You have got to be kidding me. Jackie it’s an imaginary key. It isn’t real.

JACKIE

(Panicked)

But if I can’t find it, then Mina will never be able to talk again!

(Mina shrieks)

Then it will be all my fault!

Mina and Jackie start searching for the key. Joanne throws her hands in the air and then grabs Jackie they start shouting at each other and Mina continues to look around on the floor for the invisible key. Cut between searching for the key and shouting for a few minutes. Then Delivery Person stands up.

DELIVERY PERSON

(Shouts as loud as he can)

STOP!!!

(Mina is holding up her hand triumphantly and Joanne releases Jackie who falls over)

It’s a Hufflepuff! Okay! The hose colors are black and yellow, sometimes they wear a yellow striped scarf and they can fly on a broom! Oh the shame of making me tell you of my nerdiness! Why?!

(Falls to his knees)

Mina unlocks her mouth and crawls over to Delivery Person. She pats him on the back. Joanne is speechless for a moment and then turns to anger.

JOANNE

I said that already!

JACKIE

(Still on the ground)

You did?

JOANNE

I did!

MINA

It’s true, she did.

Joanne starts yelling again and Jackie covers her ears while talking to block out the shouting. Mina is still consoling Delivery Person who is rubbing his head. Cut between the different things. Delivery Person then stands up, hands the package to Joanne and leaves. Cut to Delivery Person storming away. The girls are quiet for a second.

JACKIE

Yup.

MINA

Open it! Open it! Open it!

Joanne rips into the box and takes out a paper. Cut to where you can see the writing, it says: Guess What? Joanne throws the box at the ground in frustration. Cut to credits.